As family law attorneys, we often have clients whose children are now grown and one day they look at their partners and realize they no longer have anything in common. There is no rancor between the couple, they simply have lost that special spark and connection with each other. They were so wrapped up in the business of raising their children and their careers that they didn’t prioritize energizing their relationship with each other.
On the other end of the marriage spectrum, we also have younger couples who are so wrapped up in their careers and screens that they miss the opportunity to deeply bond early in the relationship. Most people are expected to be working and checking their email 24/7 which causes people to lose the boundary between being at home and being at work. Whether we like it or not and whether or not we even know it, we often feel ignored, even unloved, when our partner is continuously on his or her device.
The best relationship advice that we hear time and time again is the importance of staying connected with your partner. Below are some tips for maintaining connection with your partner.
- Set a clear boundary between your work life and your personal life. Make it clear to your boss and your coworkers that from certain hours of the evening you will be with your family and unavailable. Keep yourself and your partner accountable. Obviously there will be emergencies or business trips that will interfere with this practice but try your best to stick to this.
- Limit screen time. Stop the endless scrolling through social media feeds and actually talk to your partner.
- Make date night a priority. Even if you only manage to make date night happen once a month, it’s still important to get outside of your normal routine and recapture the magic of what drew the two of you together in the first place. And on this occasion-NO PHONES ALLOWED!
- Commit to doing something new and fun once a month. Find a common interest and/or hobby outside of your children. This could be something as simple as trying new restaurants in your city or joining a rock climbing gym. Maybe you are both into words and commit to completing the Sunday Times crossword together each week. Or exchange and discuss books you’ve read with each other. It doesn’t have to be a huge time commitment but making a commitment to share a new experience every month without kids is a great way to spice up a marriage.
Good luck!! You are worth it!!!