What is an Amicable Divorce?
An amicable divorce is a divorce where everything is settled out of court and afterward the former couple maintains a respectful relationship. At Integrative Family Law, we’re happy to share several secrets we’ve learned over the decades that our lawyers have helped couples divorce:
- Amicable, friendly divorces really can happen.
- When accomplished through mediation, amicable divorces are almost always your most affordable divorce option.
- And one of our biggest secrets: Amicable divorces often result in greater happiness for your whole family after the divorce.
Divorce attorneys are in a unique position to help or harm vulnerable couples dealing with strong emotions during a divorce. If an attorney allows your strong feelings or your spouse’s to run the divorce process, the legal fees become very expensive and your future relationship with your spouse can be severely damaged.
This makes it very difficult for you and your spouse to provide a healthy environment for your children after the divorce. Your children know if you dislike or hate your spouse. And the hurtful behavior you exhibit about your ex-spouse is damaging to your child’s long-term development. So, it is critical you find an attorney who has the skill to maintain an amicable divorce.
When you and your spouse are each able to accept some responsibility for your current situation and find ways to take good care of yourselves, it makes it easier to work through the painful feelings of divorce. It is critical to understand that dwelling on strong emotions only hurts you. It costs you money and it leads you to do things you may regret.
Tips for a Friendly Divorce
Here are a few tips for managing your emotions and creating an amicable divorce:
- Remind yourself every day that nothing anyone else does or says is about you; it is about them. You own your own thoughts and emotions and therefore your own well-being. For example, when your spouse says he or she does not want to live with you anymore, that is a statement about what they prefer. It does not mean you are bad or undesirable. Someone else will think you are good and desirable – you just are not with that person right now. Don’t allow yourself to believe the other person’s choices are about you.
- Work every day to believe your opinion of yourself is enough. Try to relax the strong need we all have to be validated by others. Be your own sun.
- Remind yourself daily of the principles and values you believe in. Then discipline yourself to behave in accordance with those values. You will have great respect for yourself at the end of the legal process if you do this.
Find professionals who want to help you, who want to resolve issues quickly, and who fully support your desire for an amicable divorce. You can have an amicable divorce even when there are strong feelings.
How to Have an Amicable Divorce
At Integrative Family Law, our mediators and attorneys make every effort to help clients focus on the issues that need to be resolved, with an eye toward the future when your strong emotions will have decreased. (They really will decrease!) We encourage you to seek counseling and do everything you can to keep your strong feelings in check so you can make good financial decisions and sound plans for your children’s future.
You can learn more about this philosophy, one upon which our firm was founded, here. And you can learn more about how mediation can help you achieve not only an amicable divorce but also an affordable divorce here.
Need help with an amicable divorce in Seattle?
Call Us at 206-859-6800
Nothing on this page is intended as legal advice for an individual.
Call us now to learn more about how we can assist in your specific situation.