So, you’ve made the choice to get a divorce. Before you get caught up in the myriad of choices and details, ask yourself this question: How do you want your divorce to go?
Are you worried about what a nasty divorce will do to your children or impact the rest of your life?
Do you want to “go to war” or have a good divorce? Are you willing to reconsider your view to try to keep your divorce from becoming ugly?
In a Huffington Post article, Lubov Stark points out that you can choose to have a good divorce if you are willing to move beyond your ego. She offers five questions to consider to try to prevent a nasty divorce and instead proceed with dignity.
Going through the divorce process with dignity takes pre planning, perseverance and self-awareness. We’d like you to consider these additional questions to get you moving in the right direction.
Questions To Ask To Achieve a Good Divorce
- What friends and relatives would you like to have a relationship with after the divorce? You will alienate many people if you engage in a nasty, litigated divorce.
- How much money are you willing to spend to fight in your divorce? Note: Costs of a litigated divorce – which is one where you have to go to court – often exceed $25,000 per person.
- Have you ever considered that your spouse has a legitimate point of view? We often become very narrow minded and can only see our viewpoint, and if this is true of you then you may be very disappointed to learn that a judge doesn’t see things your way.
Did you know that even though you might not want a nasty divorce that some attorneys will take that route anyway because that’s how they do business? Some attorneys think that going to war with your spouse helps you “win”.
Right Attorney Critical to Good Divorce
To help avoid getting into this situation, you will need to ask your attorney several questions to make sure he or she understands your objectives and goals and that you are both clear in the direction you want to go.
Here are several questions to ask:
- How your attorney answers the following questions will help you understand how they view their role as your advocate.
- How much formal discovery (depositions, written requests for documents, written questions to my spouse) do you conduct in your divorce cases?
- Is there anything I can do to help contain or reduce costs in my divorce?
- How often do your divorce cases go all the way to a trial?
- What training have you had in how to reduce conflict and resolve divorce cases amicably?
- What is the most important measure you routinely take to avoid unnecessary conflict?
- Do you have mediation training?
You can have a good divorce and live happily after. To do that, you’ll need to ask yourself some tough questions and make sure you have the right attorney.